Being Normal: Buying Things We Didn’t Need, With Money we Didn’t Have, to Impress People We Didn’t Even Care About! Part I
Part I, Digging the Hole!
As a huge fan of Dave Ramsey's financial advice, I enjoy his many Daveisms, terms, and catch phrases he uses in order to drive a particular point home. One term that I truly appreciate is his reference to being normal; a category and term that many would strive to fall under, except for those who know Dave. 80% of Americans are in debt. Let that sink in for a minute. The average American has a car payment of $479/month, a credit card balance of $5,700, and a student loan balance of $28,950; if that’s normal, I certainly don’t want it!
Dave Ramsey has an immensely loyal fan base, and rightfully so considering his teachings have led to the financial peace of millions. If you have ever wondered if you have run into a Dave Ramsey follower, try and recall if anyone has ever replied “better than I deserve” to your asking how they were doing. That is code for “I’m in the process of achieving financial peace!.” Dave’s fans take pride in referring to themselves as “weird,” a term coined to represent their rejection of the status quo. Once you realize that the family we have all been trying to keep up with, the Joneses, are broke, then you too will see the benefits of being “weird!”
As far back as I could remember I was normal, financially speaking that is! At first, I had a credit card because that is the way of life, or so I was told. In the beginning, I paid my balance in full, but after I purchased my first car on my own I slowly began to accumulate a balance. I would imagine it likely had something to do with the new car payment I had to pay each month which, looking back, was quite a large portion of my monthly income, but hey, this was all normal.
In the beginning, that first month I was unable to pay my credit card balance in full I felt uneasy. It didn’t take long however, for that occurrence to normalize and those feelings to subside. My standards began to slip as I compared my financial status to that of others. “Oh, well at least my balance isn’t as high as so and sos,” “At least I can make my minimum payments!”
As time went on, promotions came and my salary increased and I truly believed that I could out-earn my stupidity. The pinnacle of this normality came when I was assigned to work for the Marine Corps Embassy Security Group for the Department of State. For three years I would be assigned to exotic foreign countries, receiving a significantly higher salary than I was accustomed to, all while having practically nonexistent bills. This should have, and could have, been a great time to become “weird” but I was way too normal at this point. I was in my early twenties without a care in the world, and had disposable income out the wazoo.
Today, when looking back, I jokingly tell others that after three years on that assignment, I left with no more debt than I came in with. The joke hides the fact that while there is truth in that statement, it does not accurately express the fact that I also had no more savings than the day I took that assignment. Meaning that my increased income did not help me out-earn my stupidity, it only enabled it to grow even larger.
I have to pull back a second and state that the three years I spent on that program were some of the best and most influential years of my life. I had the absolute honor of serving with the best Marines, Diplomats, and Foreign Nationals I would ever come across and I would form friendships, both professional and personal, that would last a lifetime. My interactions with these amazing people played a huge role in shaping me into the person I am today. Heck, in Moscow, Russia I even met this beautiful, intelligent, and immensely impressive young lady who I would later have the distinct honor of calling my wife; Nelli!
In spring of 2010 Nelli and I got Married in Ankara, Turkey. An exciting time to say the least however, pull either of us aside and ask us about the complexities of an American and a Russian getting married in Turkey and you will be in for a story! Perhaps that will be one we share here in the future!
Shortly after we were married we moved back to the U.S., and wouldn’t you know, I landed a position on Instructor Inspector duty in New York, just 45 minutes from where I grew up. This is where the insanity would begin.
We received a significant housing stipend due to the area we were now living. Instead of moving into an average home, and saving the remaining housing stipend, Nelli and I made the decision to use every penny of that stipend and we moved into this posh luxury apartment complex right on the beautiful Hudson River. Looking back, that apartment was beautiful however we could have moved into a comparable unit for hundreds of dollars less per month, maybe even a thousand.
Having just moved back to the U.S. we would also be in need for a vehicle. We purchased a used VW Passat for approximately $12,000 and we did what everyone else does, we took out a vehicle loan, something I highly discourage today. Despite the fact that this was a reasonable purchase, in comparison to our income, we could not afford it. If we could, we would not have needed to take out an auto loan! We did what everyone does when looking at an auto loan, we convinced ourselves that we could afford the payments
Having just moved into our first apartment there were many things we “had” to buy. When looking for ideas on what one needs for a home we simply recalled all the things our parents had in the homes we grew up in. Not taking into account that our parents all had successful careers throughout their lives, and had accumulated these items over time, Nelli and I went out and purchased all of those things overnight. Furniture, kitchen appliances, bedding, linen, electronics, you name it we purchased it. How did we pay for it all you might ask? A quick swipe of our trusted American Express credit card of course, because isn’t that what adults do?
Soon after settling in, Nelli landed an impressive position as a sales manager for a well-established retail organization. With this newly assumed position we recognized this new income as a good opportunity for us to out earn our stupidity. In reality, all it did was enable us to feed the insanity and literally become the Joneses.
The first thing we did was purchase a newer vehicle. Nelli would take the Passat and I purchased a one year old VW CC, paid for of course with a $24,000 auto loan because hey, we can afford those payments!
With the increased income, we began to swipe that Amex a bit more as well. More eating out, more unnecessary odds and ends, last minute vacations, Christmas gifts… More of everything to be honest. Nelli and I were spending like we were members of Congress; we had a seemingly unlimited reserve with no apparent care for deficit. The balance grew and grew but hey, we were able to make those payments!
It was about this time that a funny thing happened. As our spending increased and our balance grew, Amex decided to increase our credit limit, because we were their ideal customers! Credit card companies do not make a penny off of those customers who pay their balance in full, but Nelli and I did not have that problem! Amex made us feel special because they would offer us “deals” and specials that only we were privy to! Not realizing that the “gifts” they threw us were mere peanuts when considering the amount we must have been paying in interest.
We reached the pinnacle of our stupidity in the spring of 2012. Nelli and I walked into the Chevy dealer to check out one of those new Camaros. Without any thought of purchasing anything, we walked inside just to check things out. A quick 45 minutes later Nelli and I were the proud owners of a new Camaro. Not just any Camaro, the fully loaded Camaro SS with 2SS package of course. All for the fair price of $45,000. But hey, we could afford that $600+ monthly payment…
Nelli and I had, from time to time, sat down over the years to check the damage of our unchecked spending and it usually resulted in about 48 hours of a churning stomach feeling and then us agreeing that something needed to be done. It was all lip-service; nothing ever actually got done.
At one point, in a last-ditch effort of damage control, I got a second job plowing snow, and Nelli and I even agreed to cut cable and other small ankle-biter bills. This was like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound; we were bleeding out. We were financially flatlining, and were in need of financial advice stat!
