“Why” Goals Die Off as Wishes – The Power of Finding YOUR “Why”
Every year, around the first of January, we set resolutions on how we are going to become better this year than we were last. We promise ourselves that we are going to “lose weight” or “fix my finances,” promises that we seem to repeat to ourselves year after year.
It would seem that many of us actually appear to only establish these resolutions for the sole purpose of keeping up with the Joneses, being able to tell friends and family that we too followed the tradition of setting a resolution that we hope will become reality.
The ability to make positive life changes is within each of us however, while we each have the ability to complete the journey, many of us find great difficulty in starting the process. Remember that whole “an object at rest will stay at rest” concept? Well it applies here as well!
As you likely have already realized, setting goals may be easy but actually initiating the change is often met with resistance, resistance from both internal and external influences.
External resistance comes in the form of those naysayers who either willingly or unwillingly work to prevent you from achieving your goals. From the friends who share the same bad habits you are trying to break free from, to the “Debbie Downer” at the office who continually reassures you that “this is just the way of life,” these influences negatively impact your ability to initiate change.
While external resistance is certainly a hindrance, perhaps the most significant form of resistance one needs to overcome is that which comes from within.
Often times we become comfortable with our routines, comfortable with our habits, and comfortable with our ways. “This is how I have always done things” is usually the statement given when asked why there is hesitation to change.
Change is difficult, there is emotion in the breaking from routines we have established, and there is fear and apprehension at the thought of trying something new. Even if we are outwardly expressing confidence and excitement at our new endeavors, inside, even if perhaps at the smallest level, there is a bit of uncertainty that leads us to pause at the thought of change.
As you can surmise, setting your goals, although important, is not the whole picture. While the creation of your goals is certainly exciting, as they foreshadow the promise of what may be, they are nothing but a façade, a false wall, without the foundation, the driving force, that ultimately led you to creating them in the first place, your “why.”
While everyone’s “why” is unique, there is commonality in the fact that your “why” needs to be so significant, so powerful, that it is able to convince you to not only initiate but to follow through with your decision to change!
Your “why” needs to be so important to you that you are willing to uproot yourself from the comfort of “how things have always been” and begin a path that will lead you to the accomplishment of your goals!
Take for example the husband and wife who deep down know they are not winning with money. They are playing with debt, and losing big time. A friend comes along and tells them that they could be doing better and shows them the answers to success. The couple, excited for the prospect of wining with money, decides to set a line of goals to become more financially stable; they will ultimately fail.
Why will they fail you ask? Their why is not substantial enough. In fact, their why is not even theirs, it’s their friends.
Let’s change things up a bit.
Take that same husband and wife who are still not winning with money. They have a child on the way and because of their horrid ability to manage money, they are looking at losing their cars, their home, everything they own.
That same friend comes along and provides that same financial pep talk from the previous example except this time things are different. This time the couple sits down and comes to the determination that there is no way that two adults, who cannot manage their own lives, could be left responsible to care for the upbringing of a child.
Here in that instance you Just witnessed the establishment of their “why!”
“We are going to get off our butts, we are going to fix our finances, get out of debt, and we are going to have things set in motion before this child is born” is the goal they set in place backed with the “why” that will drive them to success!
If you haven’t yet read the Compound Effect, by Darren Hardy, I strongly encourage you to do so.
In his book, he discusses the importance of making positive changes throughout your life and how small changes, over time, lead to huge measurable levels of success.
One example he provides, regarding the power of the “why” is the story of the person who is asked to walk across the plank of wood. If asked to walk across a 4 inch plank of wood for 10 feet, would you do it? Perhaps. What if you were offered $20 to perform this act? Of course you would. $20 is certainly enough “why” to do so!
Now, what if that same plank of wood spanned from skyscraper to skyscraper, 100 stories high? Would you still perform this act for $20? No, no you wouldn’t. Your “why” is no longer significant enough.
What if your child was on the rooftop of that adjacent skyscraper, crying for help as they began to succumb to the smoke and heat from the fire below? Would you walk across that plank now? You bet your butt you would, every day, and twice on Sunday! All because the “why” is great enough!
I am not advising you to implement change just for the sake of change, that is a waste of time and energy that could best be spent elsewhere. What I am getting at is that each of us have aspects of our lives that we have recognized as being in need of improvement; personal finance, our work performance, or perhaps the level of kindness we show to others, insert your example here to make this a bit more personal.
We all know that we need to set goals to help foster these changes however ensure that, before you even begin your journey, you have a strong enough “why” to carry you across the finish line. If you cannot find said “why” then perhaps you should ask yourself why you are even initiating any change at all!
